Had A Much Better Day

I can say that today has been a good day and I wasn’t angry much today just a bit upset. But it only lasted for at least a minute. But it really doesn’t matter because it was kind of dumb anyway. I was more upset than angry. I even had half a 710ml bottle of Pepsi that I had shared with Mom. That’s an improvement for me because I normally have more than that. Like three to four 710ml bottles a day. If I don’t have those I have the 2 litres bottles and it is worse with them because I can drink a whole bottle in a day. Sometimes even two of them by myself. And please don’t even get me started on how many cans I would have in a day either.

I went out today with Dad and Faith instead of sleeping in and probably would have ended up sleeping all day too. I believe I really needed to get out of the house and went to our Uncle’s store for a while but we didn’t open the store to the public. I mainly sorted through movies today it was fun. Saw some really interesting ones that I obviously got first dibs on. So yeah I got them. Have you seen my weird collections of music and movies? I own a lot of Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Bach, and Pachelbel CDs too. So I guess I am a little weird for bringing music like this home that a lot of people my age and younger wouldn’t even bother listening too unless they had too or are music students.

People who don’t listen to classical music are missing out on how music really works. Music is about creating something that means something to you. It is not about making big hits and making thousands, if not millions of dollars on these songs. But it is about putting love, dedication and care into your music no matter how much or little anyone cares about it or how much money you make off your musical talents. The music should matter to the person creating it and if it matters to then and love it so will other people.

This may seem weird but when I am at the store sorting through movies, CDs and even tearing boxes down to put into the recycling I feel so much better when and after I do that even when someone has made me upset or mad. I don’t forget it I just simply say it is not worth it just let it go. Instead of causing a scene, lashing out on them and taking my emotions out on everyone else in my way, this is my go-to a safe place. So I don’t regret hurting anyone or having to say sorry to them about it later.

This is sometimes why I do those things because I could hurt someone mentally with my bad temperament when I get mad at someone or something. So instead if I can avoid it I take it out on other things that are safer to take it out on and I feel so much better about it.

Maybe when things go back to normal again (there is no such thing as normal and there never will be) maybe I will volunteer a bit more at the store when I can. Stocking the shelves, (re)arranging things, tearing boxes and sorting through stuff calms me down and I stop being angry at whatever had made me upset or mad in the first place because my mind is focused on something else.

Also writing is really what I should be doing every day rather than listening to people say, “get a life you’re not good enough. You’ll never make it as a writer or whatever you want to be. Stop wasting your talents.” But I shouldn’t be listening to these people but it sticks to you and sometimes it is hard to let stuff like that go because it hurts to hear things you don’t want to hear. But I got to put my foot down and say I am worth the time and the effort to be better than I have ever been. And I will live my dreams someday. Maybe not right now but I will one day make them happen. And I need to believe in myself and stop listening to those bullies. And say, I will be somebody you failed to see and thought I wouldn’t be.

But it really is time to look into the stars there really are dreams up there. But if you look close enough your dreams are in the stars they may be hidden but you know that they are there. So reach out and grab them before they get too far for you to reach. Because nothing is impossible because impossible means I’m possible. Have a great night. And be safe out there wherever you may be. Goodnight.