Imperfections Make Us Beautiful

I am what some people would call imperfect but that doesn’t mean that I am ugly.

I am not perfect there is a very big difference. I am different. My body is different. My brain and heart are different.

I have struggled with being bullied, low self confidence, body shaming and self body shaming, sugar addiction and depression since I was 11 years old.

I have always been imperfect since birth. But when I was fourteen, I always believed and thought I was different from all the other girls. I always struggled with my body being different than the other girls. I would see that they had boobs and I had well let’s just say uneven, lopsided ones and one of them wasn’t growing and I absolutely hated it.

It didn’t matter how many times someone called me pretty or beautiful I never thought I was. People still call me pretty but I still have this hard time accepting it. Because I always believed that I wasn’t beautiful enough.

I was one to be called ugly, fugly, not good enough, would never make it in life, not talented enough, not beautiful enough, being judged constantly, used to be afraid of going to school everyday, wasn’t a good enough student in some eyes of the teachers and principals who didn’t like me and thought of me as an outsider.

My depression and sugar addiction has led me to sleeping a lot and not caring about my life or anything much anymore.

Asking for help doesn’t come easy for me because of judgment. And people laughing at me.

You’re not good enough. What makes you think anyone can help you? You’re beyond saving. No one can help you let alone save you. Who would want to help you anyway? No one wants you. You don’t even have that many friends. How many do you have anyway? One? Two? None? How many of your friends actually care about you and are real friends?

You don’t belong anywhere. No one will ever love you. And no one will ever love your insecurities or your imperfections. Nobody. You’re gross. You’re ugly and you don’t matter. Even your opinions don’t matter.

You’re not even a good enough writer. People call you a writer but you’re a wanna be writer.

Well I believe today as of November 9, 20 sitting here behind the scenes of Disney’s Sneakerella movie with an LSP friend watching the trucks. And telling myself that I am good enough, that I can do whatever I want to do. His inspiring words caused this which is good.

I am somebody and don’t need to listen to the negative opinions of others anymore and just keep to myself and do what’s right and do my own thing and I too will be successful and make it in life.

I am good enough, beautiful enough to be the person I want to be. And one day I will make it far and be the girl I want to be. And live my dreams and be happy.

And I too belong in this world and have talents I can share with the world as well. I from this day forward will try my best to be a better person and put my past and negative thoughts behind me and start over.

Lynn